A little bit about me...
I use much of my past experience as examples as you may have noticed. I find it helps solidify what I'm saying, not just for the reader, but also for myself. Besides, how can I offer guidance to others when I've got no idea what they're even experiencing?
Well, as it happens, I've had a bit of a rough time. I've not always felt how tough it's been due to overdeveloped defence mechanisms and unhealthy denialism. I sometimes think back on it from an objective point of view, looking at it as if I were witnessing the events of someone else's life, and I find myself shocked and concerned for the individual. I would psychoanalyse the hell out of this person and diagnose them with just about everything going, simply because of how messed up it's all been.
As it happens, I did suffer from a lot of things. My mind has not often been in a good place. Apathy, inpenetrable thoughts, inflicting damage unto others, remorselessness...I could design a brochure to hang up in the doctor's office just with my own problems. I reached a point where I needed to change or do something about it all, as the discomfort I experienced was more overwhelming than I could practically manage.
This change coincided with the beginning of a relationship. At first, I simply assumed I'd mess up horrendously as I always have done, ending up doing more harm than good and leaving bitterness and emotional distress in my wake. Imagine my surprise when I started thinking and peering into the realm of possibility.
Could it really be possible to be happy? I doubt it. Satisfied and content? Maybe. Can it last? Well, why not? After all, not everyone ends up suffering from their relationships in the long run, so why can't I do the same? What's the secret? Oh. There is no secret? It's just a bit of hard-work and communication? Huh. Funny.
Well, what about everything else? I can't put in that hard work because I'm just some broken machine. I don't operate on the same wavelengths as I should. What can I do to fix that? That sounded like crazy-talk. I thought about it though. I thought and thought and divided up all the problems I had into smaller ones, thinking about them with an intention to resolve them. Then that intention grew into a real intention. Soon I was forgoing my sense of pride and ego in order to fix myself in the long run, investing effort and moments of discomfort into myself in order to be rewarded in my future.
I became so inspired; every day, my problems were slowly drifting away, like the only thing keeping them tethered to me was myself and my own inability to want to get better. This whole time, everything was actually my fault. I couldn't blame anyone else because all it took was my own efforts to overcome everything that was wrong.
It wasn't long before I started jotting down some of my thoughts and then, well, it grew into a book and this website and everything with the name h2elp. In essence, the reason why I'm proud of this entire work of "literature" is because for once, it is who I am. It's my thoughts, my problems and my overall triumph over everything that's ever happened to me. It proves to me that I can do anything, without the need to roll my eyes at the cliché.
And that's pretty much it. It all comes from experience. I seriously think that anyone can overcome their problems. At the very least we can all ease them into being manageable. It's probably difficult, but it's not beyond your reach if you're willing enough.
So buy a copy if you haven't already and read the bloody thing!