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  • Writer's pictureRowin

Being now

Updated: Jun 7, 2021

The now is a great time to be, don't you think? It's where all of your decisions are made, including the ones to put off deciding until later. It's unfortunate, then, that we hardly seem to make the most of this ephemeral, yet eternal, instant.

When confronted by one of your fears, or when you have to do something you don't want to do, it's far too easy to delay the problem, put off confronting it and generally ignore it and hope it goes away. It's easy, but it is cowardly in a way.

Cowardice helps us survive; it's a fundamental force of Nature. It's great for when something terrible and threatening is looming over you, its shadow overwhelming your very eyes until all you see is the still darkness of terror. We know that sometimes a shadow is taller than the object casting it, however, and if we can identify whatever is blocking the light, we might not be so afraid of it.

Some of us live in constant fear, even for no "good" reason. Simply because we're taught to be afraid; afraid of anything unknown or scary or different or anything which causes a little bit of stress. This fear is in many way an overreaction. If you're afraid of spiders, a very common phobia, then it's difficult to imagine yourself picking up one of them and taking it to the window to throw it out with your bare hands. That seems gross. Or disgusting. Or so terrifying it would make you cry and shake and huddle up into a ball in the corner of the room. Like a distressed spider, funnily enough. If we challenge all of our fears as we feel them however, and try to rationalise the Hell out of them, we might come to some realisations:

Our fears keep us from dying, similar to how our pain teaches us to not damage ourselves and do stupid things. In fact, we sometimes fear things which have caused us pain in the past, or which are associated with pain, distress, etc, so we can see that the two are interlinked. But when our fears start preventing us from living the way we want to live, is it not time to change ourselves?

When you challenge a fear, firstly think of other people who don't share it. Why can your neighbour or friend or someone else grab a spider and throw it out, or slap a wasp on a table whereas you flinch and stand up and run away as soon as you hear a buzzing noise? Is it because this person is better at spider-catching and wasp-splatting than you? Not really; just that some people aren't as bothered by them. And you might also want to observe how these people don't actually get killed or injured from dealing with it, usually. Of course, this attitude may be different if your local spiders and wasps can make you deader than desired, but it makes sense in most parts of the world. Understanding that others who do not have this fear aren't any worse off can help you come to terms with the fact that your fear may not make sense.

Our fears are there to protect us, but in reality, if they aren't protecting us from anything at all, then we need to reevaluate these notions. They must only serve as a hinderance then, surely. As such, we should attempt to eradicate them from our minds, right?

Do you want to be held captive against your will by your brain which has some odd fear of algae? Or heights? Or goats? Or whatever it is that bothers you unnecessarily?

The now, immediately, is when you can start dismantling your fears. You can say to yourself "from this exact point in time and forevermore, I do not wish to be bothered by heights. I am going to walk to a tall building and go to the top, looking down at the world." Or confront whichever phobia is pertinent to you. Easier said than done, of course. Remember that you're in control, and you're also the only person putting on the brakes to your own progression. Decide to change, decide to give up being who you are and who you have been all this time in order to be able to look forward to the future when you don't have so many worries and fears and troubles. The past has already happened. It defines you in ways, true, yet it can never tell you what you must do in your future. All of that is your burden to bear.

When you have to face something difficult, try to avoid putting it off. If you think you can do it, then do it. There's a possibility that in a day's time it will be even harder to do, and not the other way around. When are you going to start exercising again? From next week? That's just not good enough. What's stopping you from exercising today? Right now even? You've just spent some time reading this (thanks by the way), but you could have been putting on the sports gear and warming up by now. There's rarely a day when you couldn't use your time better in order to get more done, so what's your excuse? And TV or laziness is not a good excuse.

All of these decisions to do something with yourself, to give a direction to your life, all start now. Well, now being as soon as you decide to go and do the things you say you want to do. The moment you tell yourself that you're not living up to your standards and really consciously want to change for the better. Understand that change is hard. It dismantles everything about your identity and builds it back up from scratch, so of course it's hard and a bit painful. You're waging a war against the person you are and the person you want to be, and you'll be riddled with doubts and insecurity and you'll wonder if you're doing it right and if you're not just making a huge mistake and leading yourself up to disappointment.

If you're feeling uncomfortable and concerned and ill-at-ease when you're trying to change, then you're doing a good job. The more you want to change, the harder it is. The more fundamental your metamorphosis. So if you're worried, don't worry. You're doing great. Keep going in that direction and don't give up. Your new life starts as you make the decision to change, and you really mustn't put it off until any later than this very moment. So stop just sitting there looking at your screen; go and do something!

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