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  • Writer's pictureRowin


Updated: Jun 18, 2021

Who wants to be normal, right? Don't we all want to be special in some way? Different? We don't want to blend in with the rest of society, become more sheep than human. To be lost in the sea of countless ratlike faces, struggling to stay afloat in the day-to-day races, like countless drops in the ocean. We want to stand out, really. Not necessarily stand out from others in the crowd, but we enjoy the satisfaction which comes with knowing that we're not just "one of them." Even if we don't always want to outwardly show it.

The problem arises with this logic when we consider that everyone, or near enough everyone, wants to be different, unique and individual, which in itself makes us all very much the same. In wanting this, in desiring an identity which is separate from all others, we end up converging more and more as a species. We create more overlap than disjointedness. It's contrary to our intentions, however it comes with the wonderful notion of interconnectedness. Not in the wishy-washy sense of the term, but rather, we're all human. Every creature who thinks with words is a human, every creature who talks is human, regardless of their language, background, past and future. With this knowledge that we're all so similar in so many ways - not just our desire for unicity - we can try and better understand one another. We can empathise with people, because we know how they feel, in a strange, projecting kind of way. We know how it feels to hurt, to be embarrassed, to be alone. And in our loneliness, we can find each other.

We need to wrestle with this notion though; we often act in ways that don't make sense just so that we can enjoy the smugness of individuality. When we act in this way, it often isn't in our best interests. You may be particularly stubborn about being differently minded, only to find yourself unable to change and adapt, to develop better ideas and notions, habits and traits. In this way, we can often prevent ourselves from overcoming some of the problems we face.

Being stubborn about our differences also lead to us wanting to be miserable, broody and to be considered "beyond help." We're only in that situation once we start believing we are, and if we actually want to consider ourselves too damaged or crazy to ever be "normal" again, then we most certainly never will be. The only problem here is that we define normality very naively. Not punishing or sabotaging ourselves is considered too normal. Not being in an unhealthy frame of mind is too normal. Being self-assured, confident, with healthy relationships and the ability to not just break down whenever things get a bit difficult is too normal. Well it isn't. In fact, it's quite uncommon for a person to be a fully functioning human being, as difficult as it is to define that term.

Indeed, having all of these positive traits is difficult and rare, but it's within everyone's reach with enough effort. The easy way to become "abnormal" is to try and be the opposite of all that, to try and be as unhappy and unstable as possible. It's not hard to be wildly unpredictable; it's lazy if you try to develop these "qualities" out of the need to feel unique. And it certainly doesn't make anyone unique at all, since that's just becoming the trend nowadays. Obviously, there may be individuals who truly can't help being predisposed to feeling a certain way, but once you start thinking that applies to you, then it will, and you'll struggle to pull yourself out of that mindset. So don't think you're beyond hope, it's just not true. There are always possibilities to help ourselves, even if that doesn't mean becoming a perfect example of a human being, it might still help you become a little bit prouder of yourself, knowing that you're choosing the hard way. Moreover, opting for the difficult task of helping yourself makes you so much more uncommon than the alternative.

If you're trying so hard to be different, you're becoming more like others. Understand that you are different, that we're all fingerprints, never quite matching up to someone else's. You don't need to try to be any more unique, becaue you always will be. Just try and be you. After all, that's all you need to be special; just the knowledge that you're a person, a human, and by that very nature, you'll never be the same as anyone else. Stop trying to be different, and start trying to be what you want to be.

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